Quotes from Ed (edit assistant):

“Half my time is spent telling you not to feel guilty about how much food you eat and the other half is spent fetching you food.”

“You’ve got some shit on your face, unless it is a spot and then I feel bad” (me: “feel bad”).

“When you hang round with me does it make you feel like a Royal? I open doors for you, make you tea, fetch you lunch, keep an eye on you in case you say something inappropriate to people who don’t know you…”

“It’s ok that we are always walking into doors and dropping stuff. We are more evolved. My brother is really good at practical things like walking round the house. I haven’t got time to think about stuff like that. My IQ is too high to think about walking straight.”

“Sometimes you look like a squirrel. You look at me with these eyes like you are in a park and I’ve just caught you eating food.”

“You’re like the older sister I never had and never wanted”