Skeletons didn’t win a Bafta but that is ok. My mum says it is ok because it is nice to be nominated, but she would say that just like she’d try to cheer us up on the way home from losing in the cup by saying, “It’s only a game! Now what have we got to look forward to?”

I say it is ok because I got the posh red lipstick out of the goodie bag and Nick met Christopher Nolan which means I am at a one-step remove. If I ever get to go I’m going to take my own box of Quality Streets to eat during the ceremony, screw up the wrappers and flick them at the winners as they walk past. I don’t mean it in a bitter way, where I come from it’s like a celebration – like throwing confetti at a bride. In my Nan’s house as a kid there was no skill held in higher regard than incognito targeted sweet wrapper flicking during episodes of ‘Catchphrase’ and ‘Blind Date’.